Sometimes life is made up of waiting periods. I am in one of those periods right now; everything in my life seems to be made up of waiting. Waiting on job openings. Waiting to hear if I have teaching this term. Waiting on friends to make decisions. Waiting on very ill family members to get better or pass on. Waiting on a publication proposal. Waiting on friends who are pregnant to deliver a new life into the world. Of course, all of this waiting happens while I continue performing life with all of the perpetual responsibilities.
Most of the time being single is fun, liberating, full of freedom. I can take a job anywhere I want--I don't have to make plans for anyone else but myself.
But, in these waiting periods, being single becomes more painful, sharper. There is no one there to talk you down off the worry cliff, to discourage you from saying, "Hang academia! I want to be a florist!" No one to sit with you on the couch, in silence while you wait for that dreaded phone call.
Don't worry, I won't jump.
But, I will pray.
And cook.
I have always enjoyed cooking, but for some reason, living in Scotland has made me more adventurous, more curious about how food comes together.
So, while I wait, I am taking great pleasure in bringing together good, simple things to make something better, something wonderful. Kneading dough, cutting fruit, blending butter and flour are all calming--soothing my anxious waiting heart. Even if I don't get to eat my creation, at least I can share it with others. I can give them something that they don't have to wait on. Suddenly, I don't feel useless, helpless, and out of control anymore, because at least I can do something that gives someone else pleasure.
In the last few days, I have made two batches of rice krispy treats (with real American marshmallows, I'll have you know!), banana walnut chocolate chip muffins, steak and asparagus with a garlic butter sauce, apple pie (with a homemade crust of course), apple streusal muffins, a wonderful dish that has Moroccan roots, apple and blackberry crumble, and finally homemade crepes with berries and cream.
Just in case you are waiting too dear reader, I will share one of my new creations with you.
The Moroccan dish:
I had something like this at my friend Chera's house for supper last week. It was warm, comforting, and filling. She was nice enough to tell me the recipe, but I didn't remember it. So in true dumping* fashion, I decided to experiment.
Everything goes in one pan, so make sure that you use a pot/pan deep enough.
Ingredients:
half an onion
3 cloves of garlic
1 can of stewed tomatoes
4 or 5 fresh plum tomatoes
1 can of chickpeas
1 vegetable or chicken bouillon cube
1 zucchini (or courgette as they say in Britain)
2 or 3 carrots (if you like)
Couscous
Spices to taste:
sugar, salt, pepper, a pinch of crushed red pepper, mild chili powder, cumin, rosemary, thyme, oregano

Heat some olive oil in the pan. Dice the garlic and onions, then throw them in the pot with the olive oil. Heat them just until they start to warm and release the fragrance (about 3-5 min. over low to med. heat). Chop the fresh tomatoes into quarters, dump in the pot. Simmer for about 5 minutes or so, until they start to get soft. While that is cooking, place bouillon cube in about a pint of warm water. Dump can of tomatoes into the pan, add water, carrots, and drained and washed chickpeas. Add spices and stir well. Simmer for about 15-20 minutes. Add zucchini at the end. I don't like it to be too soft, so I only cook it until it is "al dente." Prepare couscous separately and serve warm. Perfect for a winter day!
*dumping=what a cook does when she views a recipe as a suggestion.
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